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For the last four years my wife and I, along with our children, have made our home on the Asian side of sprawling Istanbul, Turkey. There are plenty of benefits to living in what is, for all intents and purposes, the center of the world, and one of them is being so close to Europe and many other exceptional destinations.
Istanbul — photo by Rohan Reddy
On the flip side, the hard part of living overseas is being away from family. We FaceTime with family regularly, but digitally mediated relationships aren’t ideal, and usually, we can feel the longing for our loved ones.
When our parents do come, it is often for long stretches of time, ranging from ten days to three weeks. When that happens we combine our love of family with our love of family travel and all go somewhere together on what could be deemed a multi-generational family trip.
One time, when my wife’s parents were in town for three weeks, we decided to devote one of those weeks to touring the beautiful southern German countryside. This is when we stumbled upon this great family travel tip.
Like all multigenerational trips, our trip to Germany with my in-laws was fantastic and really is the ideal way to travel for at least three reasons: there are more hands-on-deck, we can pool our resources for a better experience, and my wife and I get alone time together.
All Hands on Deck
If you’ve ever traveled on an international flight with children, you know that it can be anywhere from stressful to downright disastrous. I remember one flight where I spent hours walking up and down the aisle, holding the hands of our newly minted one-year-old who was still getting the hang of walking. On that same flight, our three year old became feverish and looked lethargic causing us to wonder what could possibly be wrong with him (he turned out to be fine).
And then there is the disembarking process which usually goes something like this on international flights: we frantically look around to gather our belongings, we carry our tired/cranky/crying children and bags down the narrowest possible aisles, walk down the stairs, board the overcrowded terminal bus, watch helplessly as our children meltdown further, juggle all our stuff, and hold our tongues as the people who are sitting in the few available seats pretend to be busy on their phones, so they don’t have to give them to us. Needless to say, it’s not our favorite.
But all these problems melt away when you travel with your parents. Grandma and grandpa, who miss their grandbabies dearly, want to help carry them and their bags. They want to sit by them. They want to help them off the plane. They want to do everything.
I remember on one particular flight to Frankfurt, not knowing what to do because the flight experience was so relaxing. My wife and I sat together and our, at the time, three and five-year-olds took turns sitting with grandma and grandpa. My wife and I casually flipped through the in-flight magazine, read our books, enjoyed our snacks, meals, and beverages (for those of you familiar with the show Seinfeld picture Jerry in first class: “More anything? More everything!”)
When we landed in Frankfurt, my in-laws took the kids and my wife and I took…nothing but ourselves. It was amazing.
Pooling Resources
Before we even departed for Frankfurt, I spent a day organizing our rental car and Airbnb. While this might sound cheap or selfish or both, one of my favorite parts of traveling with my parents, or my wife’s parents, is that they help pay for the travel expenses. This essentially means more travel which is undisputedly a good thing.
Heidelberg Castle — photo by Günther Bayerl
In this case, we used my mother-in-laws unused credit card rewards for our rental car (it didn’t cost any of us a dime to get a seven-seat Ford S‑Max for a week). The car was crucial and allowed us to do day trips to towns like Heidleberg and Cologne.
We also split the cost of our Airbnb—a three-bedroom apartment in a building located on an old German farm (the family still farmed the land and lived in several of the other buildings located on the property).
Cologne Cathedral
We stayed in a quaint village about an hour southeast of Frankfurt proper called Habitzheim. In reality, it was a small village with the obligatory old German castle on the top of the hill not far from the town. It had the perfect German feel and our hosts were delightful and spoke perfect English.
It was the type of setting that we would not have been able to afford on our own but was no problem because we traveled with our parents and split the cost.
Time Alone—Together
One thing that always bums me out about traveling with kids is that I can never get alone time with just my wife. Sure after the kids go to bed we can stay up and talk—but how is that different from what we do at home? It isn’t.
But on this trip to Habitzehim, Germany with my in-laws, I took full advantage of the babysitting help and took my wife on numerous dates. We went to Otzberg Castle and enjoyed an unhurried and quiet stroll. We had a lunch date in picturesque Michelstadt with its unique, stilted municipal building and well-manicured town garden. We even tried to go to a movie, but when we found out it was dubbed rather than subtitled, we got our money back and went on a hike.
The center of Michelstadt including the historic city hall
My in-laws too, got a memorable dinner at the small restaurant near our Airbnb (they still talk about the restaurant to this day). They drank beer, ate pork, and even practiced a little of their German (my wife’s father grew up speaking German).
Get more great family travel tips with these ways to keep your kids healthy while traveling.
Travel with Parents
Our trip to southern Germany was a resounding success. We all had an absolutely magnificent time and enjoyed the truly idyllic scenery of that part of the world. There were no meltdowns, no temper tantrums, and no stress because we had help. To this day we still talk about the farm where we stayed and fed the pigs, the castle where we climbed the stairs to the top, and the good coffee we drank and good food we ate. None of it would have happened if we hadn’t traveled with my in-laws. There might be some scoffers out there, but our trip to Germany showed us the most crucial and easy way to enjoy a family trip with kids. It proved there is a subtle genius to multigenerational trips.
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I do remember those days of trying to fly with young children. Sometimes nothing seemed to work to settle them down. Or keep them entertained. Since both of our parents were dead once we started to travel with kids, we never had the option of extended family to help with kids. How great that you even got to go out for a date night with babysitters you could trust available! And wonderful family memories for all!
Thanks so much for sharing your experience and for reading even though the advice doesn’t apply to your life!
I love the idea of traveling with parents! 1. because I like to share our adventurous style of traveling with them and 2. because they love babysitting! We don’t have any kids of our own yet, but they love taking care of my niece and nephew. I think traveling with parents and kids is definitely a good strategy!
Glad we can plant the seed!
I’m one of those who doesn’t have any children, so I can’t relate from that side. However, I am an aunt. An aunt that is invited to tag along so I can help with the kiddos. And you know what, I love it! It’s a chance for me to make special memories with my nieces that I wouldn’t trade for anything!
I’m sure your sibling appreciates the help! Thank you from parents everywhere!
Seems like a great solution. Grandparents get the dedicated time with the kids they’re craving without getting any oversight or meddling from you, and you get the couple time you’re craving without the distraction, or threat of distraction from kids. I’m sure it makes you better and more appreciative parents after having that alone time … so keep those moments coming!
It’s really great that you could have your me time when traveling with your in-laws as well as your parents. It’s true that they want to sped time with their grandchildren as much as they can when visiting or traveling with us. We traveled with my parents several times and oh how I enjoyed it when we could be together and my son was with my parents. Or, when my mom decided to carry, feed, or watch our son during the travels. 🙂
Honest and practical. Yes, its true that grandparents make it easier to handle kids. Also, we have such people who get annoyed due to kids crying. I do not have kids yet but I have had experiences where parents have really struggled with their kids on board. And I try to give them cheerful looks because its not something that they can do about. I don’t like it when people don’t offer them easy and comfortable seats.
That’s really lovely when it works. I wish we could do that too, but both our parents are too old for baby sitting. my kids are pretty good when it comes to traveling though so we don’t have to stress much about that. Couple time though is impossible, and I have given up even thinking about it.
Also, I never realized Istanbul is so attractive location-wise. Yes, it’s pretty close to both Europe and Asia, and the Americas aren’t too bad either!
So nice to be able to travel with grandparents. Unfortunately, both mine and my husband’s parents are quite elderly and I have to keep an eye on them as much as the kids (so they don’t stumble etc.). My kids are pretty good travelers though, and know how to handle airports, flights, long queues etc.
Also, I never realized Istanbul is so central. Yes, very easy to travel to Europe and Asia. I guess the Americas aren’t too bad either. You’re very lucky to live there!
I really loved reading your post and can related each and every line of your post with me. I am also a family traveler and traveling with kids is very tricky. To get time with our partner is not possible with kids, unless you are traveling with your relatives or friends. I agree the location of Istanbul is really strategic as within an hour you travel from Asia to Europe and Europe to Asia. I recently visited it and found it very charming.
These are great tips! I agree that it’s important that you get some time alone whenever we travel with kids. Thus, we usually travel with our nanny or my brother so that we can have someone take care of them during our short “break”