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It can be really fun to bring your child’s grandparents along on a family vacation, but I don’t have to tell you that it can be frazzling too. With all the extra people running around, it’s no wonder the mom in Home Alone forgot one of her kids and flew halfway to Paris before she remembered him. And although I’ve never done anything like that (yet!), we’ve gotten lost or forgotten something more times than I would like to admit. We travel with both my parents and my in-laws a lot and they have very different styles. My parents are both type-As. They want to go-go-go when on vacation. Carpe Diem! is my dad’s motto. My in-laws, however, are more chill. Planning a trip that everyone will enjoy can be challenging. But, I’ve planned lots of multi-generational trips for my travel agency clients, so I’ve learned a few tricks that help everything go smoothly.
A beach trip is a perfect big family trip, who doesn’t like the beach?
Pick a Destination and Make a Budget
When picking your destination for your multi-generational trip, make sure you take into account everyone’s activity level and preferences. If your parents can’t ride rides anymore, then Universal Orlando might not be the best choice. But if your parents are anything like my dad, laying on a beach somewhere for a week isn’t going to work. He needs more action.
Once you have a destination, you should agree on who will pay for what. You can split everything right down the middle if that suits you. One group might want to treat the other. We often break the trip down into chunks, something like: my parents pay for the condo and we pay for the food and activities. Whatever you decide, just make sure everyone understands and is happy. You don’t want anyone to be surprised. Nothing ruins a good time like arguing or stressing about money.
“Mom, why did you let them put sand on my legs?”
Choose your Accommodations Wisely
You have lots of options when it comes to places to stay, but they fall into two main categories, hotels and AirBnBs. There are pros and cons to both. If you get an AirBnB, they usually have a kitchen so you can cook a few meals to save money. You’ll also have more room to spread out. And having access to a backyard is great if your kids are high energy. But, there are lots of advantages to staying in a hotel too. You’ll gain access to amenities like housekeeping and possibly a pool. You could even choose an all-inclusive resort if you really want to relax and not worry about anything. Whatever you decide, don’t fall into the trap of thinking you can just share a single hotel room. That is too many people in too small of a space for anyone’s comfort. I say no more than 3 adults to a bathroom if you can help it.
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One bonus of a condo is that it might come with a rocking chair. This rocking chair is incredibly effective at getting people to drift off!
Make a Flexible Plan
We did a weekend trip with my parents a few weeks ago, and on Saturday night it occurred to all of us that no one had thought about what we would do Sunday. We spent almost an hour just trying to research what to do the next day. And by the end of it, everyone was annoyed. To avoid all of that, go into the trip with a loose outline of what you would like to do each day. I wouldn’t suggest that you make a minute by minute breakdown. Your kids will never allow you to stick to that. Something like: Zoo on Monday morning, Beach all day Tuesday, etc is good. A fun thing we like to do: let each member of your group pick one activity during your trip, and everyone else opts in or out.
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Mom plans, TJ sleeps through the best part. Every. Single. Time.
Plan Some Time Apart
If you are traveling as a big group for more than a weekend, you should plan some activities in smaller groups. Everyone will need a break from each other. Trust me, some small group activities help keep the peace. Traveling with grandparents is also an excellent opportunity to plan a date, after all, they are available for babysitting! It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. My husband and I went for blizzards at Dairy Queen during one trip with my parents. We got a little break from everyone. My parents got some alone time with the toddler. Everyone wins! Neither my parents nor my in-laws live near us, so they both love the opportunity to get some quality alone time with their only grandbaby. Someone will inevitably get on someone’s nerves during the trip, after all, you probably haven’t spent this much time with your parents since high school!
Relax and Go With The Flow
Finally, once you actually get there, be OK with throwing the plan out of the window. The whole reason you took the trip in the first place is to enjoy each other’s company, right? So if your parents HAVE to go to the beach one more time, or your kids decide they would rather get a root canal than go to another museum, roll with it. Some of my favorite travel memories were things that were unplanned. My dad and I were late, one time, meeting my mom at Disney World because we stopped to watch a space shuttle launch. It’s a great memory, even though we threw out my mom’s plan for the day. I’m a pretty Type A person too, but I’ve learned that we all have a better time if we loosen up the itinerary. Besides, the day I have a bunch of outdoor activities planned is the day it will rain anyway.
I’m usually a stickler for TJ’s schedule, but on vacation I let it go a little. I let him stay up late, and eat more junk than I normally would. He’s only going to be little once, and I don’t want to let his schedule get in the way of having fun on vacation.
I let TJ stay up WAY past his bedtime so he could see these dinosaurs. His excitement was totally worth the crankiness the next day.
Traveling with grandparents can be a ton of fun and a great way to create memories for your kids. I have many memories of time at the beach with my grandma and going on a cruise with my other grandparents. No matter where you go or what you do, as long as you enjoy the time together it will all be worthwhile. And if something goes wrong, try not to worry and stress out about it, your kids just might think of it as one of their favorite memories someday!
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Getting ready to plan the holidays with grandparents, so this post is perfectly timed. The relax and go with the flow is certainly a skill I don’t nearly practice enough so thank you for the reminder! Here’s to hoping we can all still travel over the holidays!
I’m not a go with the flow person either. If I’ve learned anything from being a parent, it’s how to be more patient. Hope you have safe and happy holidays!
The headline on this made me laugh! We have had some great trips with grandparents, but we have had to learn to plan for different interests, walking speeds, and personalities! I’m so thankful for all the memories my kids have of adventures with their grandparents.
It’s great to bring grandparents with you! Even when they drive you crazy, the memories are gold!
Sadly I never got to travel with my grandparents. So I made sure my son got to travel with his grandparents. We always stayed in places like AirBNBs with lots of room for everyone. The timings for things like sleep and eating just were so varied between the young and old. Planning some time apart is something even I do when I travel with my husband. I send him off for photo jaunts and just lounge with a book. We are both happier when he gets back! It is worth the extra effort to travel with grandparents to create family memories. And it gave me some time to myself as well.
Your post reminded me about the time when I was the one making plans to travel with my parents or my in-laws. Now we are the “grandparents” so all the planning hassle is for our daughter in law, hahaha! Great tips!
I still remember visiting my grandparents when I was very small but sadly I never got to travel with my grandparents :(. But gonna make sure my kids get to enjoy some quality time with my parents in near future. Gonna remember your tips then! I so agree with you, having a flexible itinerary is so important. My parents are a little old now and I realized the importance of flexibility when I planned a crazy week long trip!
This reminds me of my trip with my mom many years ago. I was 20 and had just discovered the joy of solo backpacking. So, I was eager to show her how easy it was to travel cheaply. In my excitement, I forgot to consider that someone of her age might prefer something more comfortable, especially since she wasn’t a frequent traveler. Needless to say, it wasn’t enjoyable for either of us. Now, I’ve learned to find a balance between her needs and mine ?
The most beautiful memories you can give your children are holidays with their grandparents. It strengthens family ties very much. Children will appreciate it after years. It’s a beautiful article and great tips for families planning holidays with their grandparents.
Traveling with grandparents can be really satisfying and one should do it whenever one gets the opportunity. But as you have mentioned, it can be challenging too. One needs to plan properly and take into consideration the needs of the elderly so that they are not unduly strained.
The idea itself is so noble. My grandparents are gone away long back but every earning youngster should see this post and give it some serious thought. A little pay back for all the love that they give their grandchildren. Great thoughts and ideas. Loved it.
Yes on apart time! We always try to plan free time where people can get into groups and do whatever they want. We are about ready to take a FOUR generation trip soon, so that should be amazingly interesting!
Hahaha.… The title made me laugh! I’ve been on a couple of trips so far with my parents or in-laws and my daughter. I actually find it much of relaxing when traveling with them because my gal is busy with them and I’m only responsible for rest of the things! But yeah, I can imagine the tables turning when I daughter gets older and have her own preferences & demands. Airbnbs of entire homes are great idea for such trips. And yeah, tight itineraries never work with toddlers. Its just not possible.